For two weeks I’ve woke up to the thought: “I need to do a reading and write a post today.” But the days kept passing, I didn’t pull any cards & I didn’t write a word. But this afternoon I thought, “I’m ready to do a reading and I want to write a poem.” Not even a poem, really. Just words. I’ve always hesitated to call anything I do poetry. Real talk? That’s just a personal insecurity. It’s a fear-based thought. I think to myself, “How can anything I write ever be beautiful enough to be considered poetic?” Then, I wake up out of that messy, low-self esteem, self-sabotaging daze and I realize: my entire goddamn existence is poetic. And so is yours. If you’ve forgotten & needed a reminder–this is it.
There are levels to the messages when reading tarot. Some of them we often don’t even realize at the time of a reading. It comes later, when we’re standing in the checkout line or folding laundry. I find we have our most extraordinary revelations doing ordinary things. That’s not by accident. So, my few words here won’t cover as deep as the meanings run with these cards, but maybe it can pull something out of you.
Long story short, I decided to bang out some shitty unedited free verse while meditating on these images.
My advice? Do what you need to do to revive your creativity when you feel it losing its breath. It’ll thank you.
to feel the warmth on my face,
you gift me with your energy
all of it, radiating
from my fingertips
outstretched like rays
I reach for us,
I feel you underneath my skin,
soaking in, you stay
like the tan lines that still linger
on my body in deep winter
we laugh basking in light
even as we fade
I still feel the heat, eternal
9 of cups.
so tell me,
if the Sun is the closest star to us,
if it’s light gives Earth life
why are we sending our wishes out so far?
I must have asked the Sun for you
not Sirius or Polaris
you came from the Sun
that is the only way this could feel
this good, this fast
I pour myself into you when you come
just like I poured out into the heavens,
waiting for you to arrive
here you are,
there you go
8 of cups.
and there I go,
the Moon comes out to wrap herself
around the Sun,
a crescent of comfort
she shows me parts of myself,
of you, of us
that I couldn’t see in daylight
I do not regret wishing for you
I do not curse the Sun for bringing you
I do not hate the Moon for revealing you
I am grateful for knowing
when to leave and when to stay
like Orpheus leading Eurydice,
I cannot look back
I am honored to love struggle
I am in love with knowing that if I go,
and you are mine, you will follow
someday, I know
you’ll catch up.